Powerful speech by hedges

So yeah, i was chilling out and all of a sudden i decide to jump over a steel picket fence and gash myself... 2 days old... i was drunk.

alright...

so i added this megaupload uploading tool for you guys. incase you wanted to share something with me just upload it and i'll get it... the only thing is that it cannot be more than 2 000 Mb! anything goes!

wholly mother of pearl

So I suppose that this is like way late but i suppose i will start with this for the time being... will be posting interesting stuff too.

who would you take?

if I were to go into some unkown land and i could only take two people with me i would take... someone who could kill things and someone who could cook them.

pennies over the calculator

Restroom Poetry

The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms
(fill in the blanks using your imagination):

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted

Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!

Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.

good for something

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on
and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,
Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with
"In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

ecstasy